While I have decidedly firm (and most definitely pretentious) notions about what’s good and what’s crap when it comes to music, I do shamelessly indulge in what I call my guilty pleasure artists. Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Drake and other mindless hit factories are good for churning out catchy tunes you can crank at parties, sing to while you do the dishes, or just dance to in front the bathroom mirror sin pantalones.
One of those very such songs, Growing Pains by Alessia Cara, has really resonated with me lately. When I was child, growing pains just meant the excruciating agony I’d awake to at night (and are likely what gave me my Gumby-like legs). While tear-inducing and horrible, they are no match for the metaphorical growing pains of adulthood.
The past two months have been wrought with challenges in nearly every form. At times, it has felt like I’ve cried more than I’ve laughed. I’ve felt purposeless, lost, insecure. But despite that, I’ve had the support of family, loved ones, and close friends to help me along.
Then finally, when all seems futile, there’s always that tipping point when the pendulum of life once again swings back in your direction. Things are beginning to look up again. I’m regaining the desire to write again.
At the beginning of September, my dear, sweet dog, Louie, passed away suddenly from a rare and aggressive heart cancer. I was, and still am, devastated. Today, I finally finished and published a piece on Medium that I began, but could not bring myself to complete, about the loss.
It was cathartic in a way only writing can be and I feel a renewed spark to work on projects. I’ve reached out about some more freelance gigs. Things are slowly, but surely, starting to happen.
Last month I was accepted as a guest blogger in the field for Verge Magazine but have yet to have my first completed post published. As proof of commitment, they require the second to do so and recently, I hadn’t been able to find the will to write even a single word. Luckily, my editor has been extremely kind and accommodating in giving me the time to recover. I plan to start on it tomorrow and hopefully will have it finished the same day. It’s a good feeling to once again pursue your passion.
So to come full circle, I quote the chorus of the song that’s been on my mind and many days belted from my lungs.
And I guess the bad can get better
Gotta be wrong before it’s right
Every happy phrase engraved in my mind
And I’ve always been a go-getter
There’s truth in every word I write
But still the growing pains, growing pains
They’re keeping me up at night
I’m sure it won’t be long before I’m sleeping soundly through the night again.